One of Golf Digest's--and the community's--finest passes away
The sad result of Kathy Kelly Stachura’s heart evidently giving out, causing her to pass away one week ago on October 2, rings true in one aspect: her heart gave out and gave out and gave out for all of her 56 years. There are givers and takers in this world, and Kathy was a giver.
I had been a coworker of Kathy’s at Golf Digest, where I had been an editor and she performed a variety of roles, most prominently as Chief of Research and factchecker. Even after she began doing her duties out of her home in Trumbull, I as the magazine’s ad hoc librarian would get emails on occasion asking for confirmation of something she couldn’t find, or her husband, Mike, the mag’s equipment editor, would come to the Resource Center and say “the fact checker needs this or that” and grab a reference book.
She may have needed help to solve questions needing answers, but most of the time she was the one who answered the needs of others, mainly her family, but certainly anyone she saw needing help in any way, from pets to strangers.
Kathy Stachura
The obvious topic to discuss with someone dying so soon is how unfair, senseless and cruel it is that Kathy was taken away at what is supposed to be such a rewarding time in someone’s life, when they should reap the benefits of the labor put into a marriage and motherhood. Her children, Annie and Jack, are young adults who exhibit the guidance that both parents provided. But the senselessness is for our own individual reflection and comprehension. As a Christian, I, myself, would rather revel in the perspective I strongly recall hearing from my longtime pastor, Rev. Ron Froehlich, who at a funeral for another person who died too young spoke uplifting words that I write for Kathy here: “Would you believe it if I told you that Kathy is more alive now than when she was with us.” She believed in the promise of what God said about His Son Jesus and that’s the excitement to feel about Kathy now.
But there are other uplifting areas to discuss, such as the memories of Kathy that will be the focus for years to come when those of us who knew her remember the life she led.
There are people we meet in life who are so memorable that you don’t forget them, and they put impressions on your mind. Kathy was one of those persons. From the perspective of either family or friend, Kathy was energized, engaged in life, vibrant, dedicated, devoted, loyal and determined.
I also thought she was funny. Not “I love Lucy” funny, trying to save all the chocolates on the conveyer belt, but kind of a goof, even a little klutzy. Any conversation I had with Kathy usually included some silly repartee. I bet she developed that being around her brothers Hugh and Brian. She probably needed to be funny as a defense mechanism to hold her own against her brothers. A sense of humor probably kept her sane.
Impressions and memories of her for me revolve around the story of seeing her in the lobby at the Trumbull Golf Digest building when she came for her job interview. The story goes that I helped guide her to where she needed to go for the interview for a job she eventually was offered. Kathy would tell of that encounter over the years, and like a tall tale, the story grew until by the last time I’d heard it I was a Paul Bunyan type character who not only helped direct her upon her arrival but basically interviewed her and offered her the job on the spot as well. I didn’t mind that because, as the saying goes, when the legend becomes fact, print the legend.
When she got on the editorial staff, when Kathy would pass my office, she would invariably stop and look at her reflection to fix or arrange her bangs, using the glass like a mirror. I won’t forget that image in my head. That was her, just being kind of goofy about her looks.
She also had a kind of sing-song way of talking in the office. When she answered the phone, her voice would adjust from her normal tone to a light and airy, “Good morning, Kathy Kelly, Editorial.”
Oddly, I didn’t understand why she always called me Mr. Schrock, as in, “Hello Mr. Schrock,” “thank you Mr. Schrock,” or “You’re a good egg, Mr. Schrock.” I don’t have any recall of her calling me Cliff.
“A good egg” must have been one of her favorite phrases. As for calling me Mr. Schrock, I was four years older, so I guess, being the courteous person she was and raised well by her parents, that was just her way of showing respect to her elders.
Kathy and Mike went down in Golf Digest lore for their secret courtship. They flirted on the sly through the primitive office electronics of the day. One can only imagine how they would have done courting by email and texting. It was so “secret” that my wife, Mary, who had worked over in production, said to me on the way home from Monday’s calling hours, “wasn’t it funny they had that secret dating thing going on?” That courtship took place 25-plus years ago but the “behind the scenes” dating was still a topic of conversation.
Mary, whose memory is better than mine, also said she had remembered Kathy and another coworker, Lisa Sweet, coming to our house after our daughter Joelle was born and having a playtime with her. Mary pulled the photos of that visit (one is on the home page), and they are now more treasured images than we could have imagined.
Family was everything to Kathy. After her children were born, if you needed to find Kathy, you just had to go find where the kids were and you’d find her, supporting them.
She supported all people and causes close to her heart the best that she could. An email she sent to me after I started a new job and was experiencing anxiety was encouraging to me. She said my employer had hit the hiring lottery jackpot when they got me, so just go do what I do best and I’d be all right. She turned out to be correct.
So, thank you for that Kathy, good and faithful servant, who was honored at her funeral service Tuesday with Annie singing Amazing Grace and Mike delivering a powerful eulogy. Thank you for what you did in people’s lives to be memorable and helpful.
You were a good egg, too.